Pinocchio 2022 Film Disney Film SPOILER FILLED Review

 

Disney fans we have yet another new "live action" Disney remake with us and well this film ends up being just as bad as you'd all think it would. I have to admit that I was looking forward to seeing this film simply because of the fact that i'm a huge fan of this films producer , director and co-writer Robert Zemeckis and so then join me as I give you my SPOIILER FILLED review of the film that is just plain bad with the film in question being called simply just "Pinocchio" enjoy.

The plot of this film is Pinocchio wants to become a real boy and make his father proud but on his quest he finds out just what it means to be a real boy. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that he actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really bad which is a shame because the original film told this exact same story really well and yet here for reasons that i'll go into later the story and plot just don't work that well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Starring in this film is Tom Hanks as Geppetto , Cynthia Erivo as The Blue Fairy and Luke Evans as The Coachman. Also starring in this film is Giuseppe Battiston as Stromboli , Sheila Atim as Signora Vitelli , Kyanne Lamaya as Fabiana , Lewin Lloyd as Lampwick , Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jiminy Cricket , Benjamin Evan Ainsworth as Pinocchio , Lorraine Bracco as Sofia , Jaquita Ta'le as Sabina and Keegan-Michael Key as Honest John.

Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty average at best. Which given that this film has Tom Hanks in it really shouldn't be the case at all and yet because no one in this film is trying to turn in a good performance all we get are a bunch of average performances and that's it in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Doing the CGI for this film is Moving Picture Company and the legends and the greats that are over at Double Negative. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual CGI that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual CGI that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty pretty good since the effects do look good for the most part however we do get quite a few bad looking CGI effects as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

SPOILERS START HERE!!!!!!!!!!

This film could have gone one of two ways they could have gone the way of the 2017 Beauty And The Beast remake and just retell the exact same story the exact same way or they could have gone the 2010 Alice In Wonderland way where they kept the title but changed the story. This film does a blend of the two which does work in some cases but in other cases it just doesn't work because of the fact that it changes the context of the original scenes in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

As with alot of these live action remakes of classic animated Disney film musicals this film does include some original songs. Which for the most part aren't that bad but it does make you wonder why they even bothered to give The Coachman a song since it makes no sense to give this character a song in the first place and it really doesn't help that The Coachman's song is the worst new song in the entire film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

The one sequence that I didn't want them to change or watered down to much was the donkey transformation sequence. Which they sadly do change simply by expanding the sequence on Pleasure Island since we get to see Pinocchio not take part in doing anything bad and so his realisation that this place is a bad place now doesn't work because he's already worked that out and because of that he now shouldn't have his donkey ears and tail which for strange reason his still gets and so it made that donkey transformation sequence feel unneeded and really unnecessary in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and forty five minuets and eight seconds. Which is a tad bit on the long side for a film that is basically telling the same story as the nineteen forty original film only with a few added scenes and characters and as such I see no reason as to why this film needed to be as long as it was because it really doesn't have alot there in terms of either plot or story in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

So now then since this is means to be a comedy that means that I have to actually talk about the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really bad. With this film having next to no actually funny jokes in it and just to give you an idea of just how bad this films attempt of comedy is they make a joke about Chris Pine's name that's how bad this films comedy is in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

SPOILERS END HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Overall this film is a soulless and mindless cash grab of something that didn't need it's core story updating since it's story was already timeless as it really freaking is in my freaking opinions anyways /  at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this very film erns itself a grand old score of exactly a 4.5 out of 10 from me.

Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from the official Disney fandom wiki page and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this very / particular / exact film being the official Disney fandom wiki page since alot of the images that are from this film and that are currently still indeed up on the official Disney fandom wiki page are all really fairly freaking high in quality and as well as being fairly freaking high in definition.